I don't have much to say. Des is coming out this Friday and that's mega-cool. Our first real visitor other than my family will experience California with me and Z. Although, I must confess that Princess Bloggy was in the vicinity and she refused to come see me (oh alright, she was technically 6 hours away and I was nearly-drop-dead sick.) So the logistics of actually seeing Bloggy did not work out, although I totally would have driven the six hours to San Leandro on Friday evening had I been well.


Speaking of which, being sick sucks. Because not only did I miss a week of work (luckily we get paid sick days, thank GOD), but I didn't even get to enjoy my week off. I was too sick to even watch TV. I'd lapse in and out of consciousness every couple of hours or so.


But anyway... I was reading Bloggy's blog of her vacation and saw that she said babies are awesome and everyone should have at least one if not two. Well, I since I have nothing truly useful to say, I decided to spend my half-hour break of a 10 hour day in rebuttal of this belief.


There really is no such thing as a cute baby. All babies are gross. Here is my argument in three-fold:


Item 1: They're small, bald and rotund. These features are something we secretly laugh and point at behind other small, bald & rotund peoples backs. If we thought small, bald & rotund people were attractive then George Costanza would never have made it on Seinfeld as George Costanza; rather, he'd be the famous porn star Buck Naked since he would have been high in demand as the sexiest small, bald & rotund porn star in the world.


Item 2: Babies are grossly fat. But not in a happy fat sort of way. Their flesh bulges with blubber, and usually it is glistening with some form of bodily excretion, whether it be mucus, sweat, drool, poop or urine, it really doesn't matter because all of those things generally mix together upon the baby's skin anyway. Which leads me to item three...


Item 3: Babies stink. Both literally and figuratively in this sense. The stench that surrounds babies is both strong and putrid. being near babies usually induces some sort of stiffling reflex from the gag-ular smell that emanates from all babies. The reason why they smell is because of their lack of bodily control. So their mucus, sweat, drool, poop and urine makes babies 100x worse than most adults since you have to wipe their asses for them and you don't even get paid. Even CNAs and nurses get paid to wipe old people's butt-cracks. But parents do not. Unless they're on welfare, then those parents specifically plan to have a child every five years so they can continue to recieve payment for simply being stupid enough to get knocked-up.


I was once a disgusting entity known as "baby." And it is because of the above three reasons that I greatly appreciate my mum for deciding to have me. See, I was technically the second child. The first child was aborted because my parents weren't ready to submit their lives over to a distingusting creature such as myself. And I was a burden their entire lives. Always needing more. More food. More clothes. More shelter. More attention. The sheer greed I exhibited as baby (and as a child) is enough to turn my stomach. And I thank God every day that I do have life, because it would have been really easy to abort me as well.




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I'd like to thank citysearch.com as I accept all of my wonderful praise today.


Monday, I went with something that we usually do, a restaurant that is just average and half of us like it and half don't. But on that particular brand of Monday, nobody liked it at all. And they all complained. And most of the food went uneaten and we threw most of it away. So I did some research yesterday, on citysearch.com to be exact, and found the coolest restaurant: Lemon Moon. They change their menu daily and it's quite affordable, not to mention delish. Oh, and they have online ordering, which is nothing short of magical itself.


Speaking of magic, lunch magically transformed everyone's mood. Everyone was in a spectacularly good mood ever since 12:15. It was pretty special. And it's 4:18, and people are still complimenting my lunch restaurant of choice. I have citysearch.com to thank for the magical transformation.


I think sites that review anything are extremely valuable, and I love the Internet for bringing such information to my fingertips.


Anyway... I'm having the best day. In fact, I was having such a good day, I almost forgot to take my break. I'm just having fun. Plain, good, ol' fashioned fun. And productive to boot.


I wonder if my lunchtime magic lightning can strike again tomorrow.


In other news...


Has anyone seen the previews for A Series of Unfortunate Events? It premieres December 17th, and I am so excited! I love those books. Granted, I love most children's literature in general, but I am particularly fond of all things Lemony Snicket (aka Brett Helquist). Jim Carrey looks particularly entertaining, I must say.

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Ah... it's nice to be able to post again. Domain registration, especially when the company you're dealing with is stupid, can be a hassle. Besides, most of you could care less about dns servers and crap, so I'll spare you the gory details.


The job is going strong. I'm starting my third week. No more HF sightings. But last week we had quite the fiasco surrounding the president and John Kerry being in the vicinity. Lots of supporters & protestors trying to stake the place out. The marines even did a "routine bomb sweep." I'll tell you one thing, there ain't nothing routine about a bomb sweep.


But all in all, very good. Never bored. The days fly by. They may be 10 hour days, but they really go by quickly. The best part is because I work 50 hours a week, I get 10 hours of overtime automatically. Not too shabby. In 2 more months, I'll have benefits with medical insurance, and we'll finally be able to see doctors--real doctors, not the quacks that take walk-ins after 2 pm on a weekday.


Not that I don't appreciate clinics that take walk-ins, but Zappo had a real doozy of a visit last week. He's been on high blood pressure & cholesterol medication for a while now, these medicines make it so he doesn't have high blood pressure or high cholesterol. But the doctor he saw refused to refill his prescriptions for these medicines because his blood pressure was optimal! And apparently the docs who were prescribing those drugs were quacks themselves! Giving these drugs to someone without high blood pressure! How dare they?


It appeared that Zappo had strep throat, or some variation, because he had one strep-looking spot on his uvula, but it only spread to one other area in his throat. And the doctor was like, "Oh! I see where it hurts! It hurts right there, right?!" And he proceeded to POKE at Z's uvula and essentially gag him, while siumulataneously hurting him!


The doctor also did not take a throat culture, which is fine. We're not insured, so we can't really afford a culture. Basically all we wanted was the amoxicillan. Just the prescription, if you please. Luckily, Z did obtain one, but the doctor never actually diagnosed him with anything.


I wish I hadn't been working so I could have protected Zappo from the weirdo doctor. But I guess you get what you don't pay for?

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The job is going swimmingly. I love it. It's long. Man, it's long... but it's completely worth every minute.


Coolest perk of the second day: Harrison Ford walked in the office today to have a meeting with a director and El Presidente. And when he left, he said, "See ya."


Indiana Jones said "See ya" to me!


And as I have been reassuring everyone today, I did not act as dorky as I just did above. I'm a professional.


I was silent.


FYI: Harrison was scruffy and delicious.



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