My friend Ish had a superb idea. He's wanted to learn Mandarin Chinese for a while, and found this entirely free and convenient way to learn through podcasting. He's using ChinesePod.

Now, I have wanted to learn Japanese for years, and I can read and write Katakana and Hiragana, but I don't know a lick of Kanji--which is the most important part. Darn that country with its three alphabets! Sure, I can read the words but I have absolutely no idea what they mean most of the time. Unless the words are Romanji in Katakana (so for instance if an English word, like Dragonball Z, is spelt out in Katakana, I can read that).

But reading and writing is only part of the struggle. I primarily want to speak it, or at least be able to watch all the awesome Japanese horror movies in their original language and understand what they're saying.

So a minor request: if anyone knows of a free Japanese podcast, please let me know!

I am considering taking a Japanese course at USC this summer. But I was looking forward to an actual summer off, since it's been a crazy year of writing and teaching and literary theory. The course would be free to take since, from what I understand, Assistant Lecturers get to take 12 free units in the summer. Plus, if I took Japanese as well asthis Asian-American Literature class this summer, I'd knock out some coursework towards my doctorate--and seeing as how we probably don't want to live in LA forever, getting done as quickly as possible seems like a good idea. Plus, I'm working on a story about a Japanese girl loosely based on a news clipping I read in a Japanese news feed--so it seems like all of things are converging for a reason. But the real question is: Am I motivated enough to work through the summer?

There's another reason why I wanted my summer off though. I haven't discussed this with anyone yet, not even B. No, I am not planning on getting a full body horimono (although that would be awesome), and no, I don't want to have a kid. Nothing that scary.

As everyone knows, I have been keeping my eye on the real estate market for a year now. Looking at potential places to buy in downtown LA, in a vague hope that we'd be throwing our money down an investment as opposed to down the rental drain. I suddenly had a brainstorm, though. Have I been looking for property in the wrong area?

B and I probably don't want to live in LA forever. Although, if downtown continues to be revitalized, and if my mom and brothers couldn't join us if we moved to another state, then I can actually see us staying around here after I graduate--at least for a while. However, just because we live in one place, does that mean that should preclude our ability to own property elsewhere?

I have a good feeling about Flint, Michigan. Yes, currently, it is economically depressed. But I don't think it will be forever. And honestly, you just can't beat that real estate market. I found a house in Flint that could potentially be renovated into 5 separate rental units for $75,000--the monthly mortgage for which would only be $479.17 (assuming of course our downpayment would be $7500)--not too shabby.

Even if we rented each unit out for $100 a month, we'd be able to at least pay for the mortgage. However, if we borrowed $100,000 and used $25,000 for renovation, the mortgage would still only be $651.99 a month--and then we might be able to rent each unit out for $200-$400 a month. Meaning we could pay the mortgage and make money at the same time.

B's parents are both retired, and I bet they wouldn't mind being hired to be property managers of the joint, especially if we monetarily compensated their time. So even though we wouldn't necessarily be in the state, we'd still have a physical presence that would enable renters to have a resource in case the plumbing fails, for instance.

Furthermore, the renting situation in the area sucks. How cool would it be to provide some quality living space for an affordable price? I was looking at some apartments in Grand Blanc, which get terrible user reviews: the living situations are out-dated, shabby, and the areas are essentially ghetto, but they're still charging their customers upwards of $500+ a month. It's hard enough to find a job in the area, it's even harder to find a job that pays decent wages--so $500 a month can really sap a person's take-home pay. I know what it's like to pay $700+ a month to live in the gutter. It was depressing, and it literally sucked my will to live. I'd like to provide a better living situation to someone who needs it, while also looking out for my own family's interest financially.

I don't know if B will be receptive to the idea. He's not really a risk-taker when it comes to this kind of thing. And this enterprise is definitely risky. I mean, what if we go to renovate, and it turns out there's structural/electrical/plumbing problems that need to be addressed before we can give the joint a face lift--which then eats the entire renovation budget? Even worse, what if we renovate it, and then no one rents the property? Then we're out $651.99 a month until we can get people to sign leases.

I think it would be less scary if we could get someone to go in on this idea with us, and split the costs 50/50. But again, I doubt anyone we know would be willing. Heck, I doubt my own husband would be willing, so that probably ends it where it began.

See? I have all these ideas for the summer: Asian-American Literature class, learning Japanese, writing (obviously), and perhaps purchasing property and renovating it. But aside from the video games I have lined up to complete this summer, I doubt anything will be done.

Labels: grad school, real life, schedule

( 3comments )

at May 1, 2006 11:26 PM  Ish said...

I'd be somewhat cautious with it. First, Michigan is in a LOT of trouble right now, with no clear sign of things looking up. Most people I know are struggling right now, and the rest of them have moved or are moving to other states.

And Flint is close to the worst of the state on that score. Still many years after the GM Economic genocide of the city they're losing population and haven't really replaced the industry. They're trying, certainly, but things are tight right now in Auburn Hills, so how does Flint stand a chance, right?

Which isn't to say don't do it, because in the long run it will probably work out, and you might have located a good idea, but be VERY careful with research and such. Certainly Michigan needs money invested in it, and now is definitely one of the cheapest times to do it, with how bad it is. But be careful.

 

at May 1, 2006 11:41 PM  Samantha said...

Yeah, definitely. It's really not a project we should take on: 1) While I'm still in school and 2) From across the country. I guess I see houses for like $45,000-$75,000 and I get sort of dazzled by the possibilities. But then my brain sorta catches up with the fantasies and says things like: there's a *reason* the houses are only selling for that much...

Michigan needs a new core industry aside from automobiles. But how does that happen? How do you replace an entire's state's economy? Obviously, we know how to rip it to fuck. But the putting it back together is the tricky part.

I sometimes wonder, having now worked in the film industry and having been rejected by it--and in turn rejecting *it*--if something as simple as that would revitalize the area. Sure, the inclement weather conditions might be a problem for production schedules, but maybe it's jus something that should be adapted to, instead of wrestled against. Because not every location needs to be a soundstage in Los Angeles. A soundstage could just as easily be built in Michigan.

Plus, Michigan has something that I've been seeing a lot more lately in movies: snow. Real snow, not my fake John Travolta snow that I took from the set of Lucky Numbers when it was being filmed in Sacramento back when I had Rogue-From-X-Men white streaks.

 

at May 2, 2006 11:10 AM  Lorie said...

Yeah...the one comment that came to mind after I initially read your post was "make sure that $45,000 property isn't next to a crack house" but I couldn't think of a way of saying it without being too discouraging or unfairly stereotyping Flint. But I've seen enough worn out homes while driving through Flint that I can only imagine the number of structural problems a bargain property in the city could come with.

 

There's this movie that came out two years ago called The Jacket starring Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley. I remember the first time I saw a preview for it I wanted to see it, but we don't see that many movies in the theater. This is one time I wish I had. The movie moved me in ways I didn't know I could be moved. I don't cry often at movies, but I did at this one.

The storyline is familiar: a man gets a a pseudo-second-chance to help a little girl's life and get closure. By familiar I mean we've seen this plotline employed by the likes of films such as the holiday perennial It's A Wonderful Life and the lesser known Fluke (about a father who gets reincarnated as a dog). By pseudo-second-chance I mean there is some fortean influence at work that allows these men to help their families while simultaneously getting closure on their own lives via paranormal phenomena.

Okay, so yeah, maybe likening The Jacket to It's A Wonderful Life has turned you off to ever renting it or watching it on HBO. But it's not It's A Wonderful Life. It's a much more beautiful, relevant and poignant film. It calls to question the blurry lines between past, present and future as well as the tenuous grasp we have upon what constitutes as reality and justice.

I haven't seen Adrien Brody in many films, but I do know he has won an Academy Award, and after seeing this film, I suddenly understand why. He portrays Jack Starks, a Gulf War veteran who suffers from a nebulous mental ailment (perhaps Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) after being shot in the head by an Iraqi child being held prisoner. I'm not one for war movies that feature bleeding-heart portrayals of veterans, but this movie, I think both avoids over-sentimentality, but also heartily embraces it. It's a strange contradiction, but it works beautifully. I haven't felt so connected to a cinematic character since... I don't know... Edward northing Narrator in Fight Club? And that was for entirely the wrong reasons. I was more intrigued with where the film would end up than I was in the growth and underpinnings of the Narrator. But Adrien Brody invites me into Jack Sparks. He's foreboding and perhaps unreliable, due to his mental health status and amnesiac tendencies, but even so, I became soulfully invested in what happens to Jack.

But even so, the way Adrien Brody is so engaging almost could be dwarfed by the sheer beauty and desolation of the wintry landscape. This movie is gorgeous and real and raw. The cinematographer, Peter Deming, did a superb job here, considering this is the same guy who did Evil Dead II, Purple People Eater, Drop Dead Fred, Son In Law and Joe's Apartment. But I realize that maybe those films paid the rent. Because the man also did Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, as well as Goldmember, so he's a man after my own heart, obviously. But he's also worked on From Hell (and even though Heather Graham is atrociously bad as an Irish prostitute--who'da thunk it?--the Deming's dark beauty and Johnny Depp redeem the film), Mullholland Dr., and I Heart Huckabees. So the dude's obviously got some street cred.

I realize that the success of a film's acting and cinematography perhaps ultimately lie upon the shoulders of its director. JohnMayburyJohnMayburyJohnMayburyJohnMaybury... I have never heard of this name before: John Maybury. Does he sound familiar to you? Well, I dare you to look at his filmography and tell me that you have heard of Pagan Idolatry or Circus Logic I-IV. However obscure Maybury's past work may be, it doesn't diminish the fact that he executed The Jacket with a poetic precision. Because it's not just the dialog you have to pay attention to, it's everything in the frame. The words, the sounds, the edits... They work together in this magical way. I hope we get more from this guy. I really do.

Labels: movies

( 0comments )

I nominated my mother for What Not To Wear. I'm terrified that she'll be offended and get her feelings hurt. But I feel like someone needs to teach my mother that she's beautiful, as well as how to feel confident in her own skin. And I think Stacy and Clinton can do that.

Here's what I said in the application:

Relationship and Time Known?
I would like to share a poem I wrote about my mother, because I think this can best illustrate the kind of life we used to have--and how hard she has worked to change our situation around.

Recently Living Rabbits

My mother slaughters rabbits.
My mother breaks their necks and spines,
Feels life slip between fingertips.
She played piano when she was young.
Such sturdy fingers.

An apron she wears to stave off blood.
Not that rabbits always bleed,
When she cripples them as they still breathe.
"But sometimes," she says, "spine snags skin."
Their mammalian hearts, so used to beating.

I had a fondness for rabbits.
Their soft fur and wet eyes.
The unexpected presence of claws.
"Blood is surprisingly thick in rabbits,"
My mother says.

I realize that the poem is violent, but I hope the message underlying the images is beautiful. My mother used to slaughter rabbits for $5 an hour just to make sure we had food to eat and a place to live. My mother has since put herself through school and has become a nurse.

Personality
My mother has sacrificed everything for me and my brothers. She was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life, but once she left my abusive father, she suddenly had to make a living for herself. After 15 years of marriage, and being 30 miles away from the nearest town, my mother was left with very few wage-earning options. In order to provide for us, my mother has slaughtered rabbits, packed nightcrawlers, worked construction, made holiday wreaths, landscaped, worked as a caregiver at a group home for boys. In 2000, my mother left Mt. Aukum and moved to Vista to care for her mother, and to provide a better life for my brothers. In the beginning, she worked at a Salvation Army thrift store while she studied to become a C.N.A, and then worked in a convalescent home. She finished first in her program to become a Licensed Vocational Nurse, and soon became a director at the convalescent home she once worked as a CNA. For the last few years, my mother has exclusively worn scrubs, but now that she's working in hospice, she can actually wear normal clothes--and she was very excited about that. At first...

How Long have you known the Nominee?
All my life. And I feel blessed every day that I have her in my life.

Describe Nominee's clothes
My mom exclusively wears clothes from thrift stores or Wal-Mart. There's been the occasional QVC purchase, you know the type with the appliqués of flowers around the shoulders? I think the worst part about her clothing, though, is that nothing fits her correctly. As I said above, my mom was excited about wearing normal clothes at her new job--at first. However, I think she now finds the whole ordeal tiring. After watching an episode of What Not To Wear and seeing Stacy and Clinton dress a woman who has my mother's body shape, I was inspired. My mom's birthday was looming, so I went out to Macy's and bought my mother a $100 coat that was pink with this beautiful embroidery all over, but also had fitted seaming along the waist to give my mother structure. The coat was an extra-large and my mom couldn't button it all the way. I tried to convince her that she could wear it open and it still looks adorable on her--but it's four months later, and my mom still won't wear the coat. "Not until I can button it. I only need to lose ten more pounds..."

I feel like I hurt her self-esteem buying her an extra-large. No. I know I hurt her. But the coat was so beautiful... and it felt so nice to be able to get her something ... well... nice.

Right now, she is very unhappy about her weight, and it seems like she doesn't want to look good and buy decent clothes (now that she can afford them) until she hits her target goal. Honestly, I think she misses the simplicity of the scrubs: she could mix and match the cartoon-y patterns, and all the pants had an elastic waistbands. Compounding the problem of my mother's wardrobe is the fact that she refuses to spend any money on herself in order to buy well-made clothes. She tells me, "Matthieu [my younger brother] needs new shoes. And I can't get a good pair for less than a hundred dollars." That's when I'll look at her shoes from Wal-Mart and ask, "How much did your shoes cost?" And she smiles happily and says, "Eight bucks! And I bought two pairs!" She realizes the value of buying quality pieces for my brothers, but doesn't realizes that she deserves even BETTER treatment. I wish I could buy her a pair of really expensive shoes. I wouldn't care if I had to put them on a credit card. But she wouldn't allow me to buy her something so expensive. I'd have to ambush her--and then what if the shoes didn't fit right?

I have seen Stacy and Clinton help women learn to love their bodies and feel comfortable in their own skin. They show women that they are beautiful, even if they're not a size 6 or 8, because beauty is so much more than a label size. And I think no one in the world deserves to learn this lesson and feel beautiful and confident than my mother. She will be turning 50 in December, and I can think of no better gift than this lesson. I wish I could help her realize this myself, but I trust Stacy and Clinton with my mother.

If you do choose her for What Not To Wear, you will have to watch her like a hawk: she'll try to use the money to buy me and my brothers gifts with her money. Please don't let that happen. She deserves every penny and more.

I hope they choose my mom. She deserves it more than I can describe.

Labels: television

( 0comments )

This one's for Lorie.

Labels: whatever

( 0comments )

If I lived in Michigan, I would live in Traverse City. I'd live in Traverse City so that I could live in a former asylum overlooking Lake Michigan.

Apparently this development of former loony bins into expensive condos is a growing trend across the country from Oregon to New York City. In Massachusetts, Danvers State Hospital is being converted to 497 luxury apartments where rent will be around $1400 a month for a one-bedroom, and around half-a-million dollars if you buy a condo. On Roosevelt Island, the former New York City Lunatic Asylum has also been renovated and a studio apartment is going for $1700 a month.

I don't know why, but this weird living space appeals to me on a lover-of-horror level.

Labels: horror, Michigan, psychic, real estate

( 5comments )

at April 16, 2006 12:40 AM  Princess Blogonoke said...

No, it's not wrong. It's cool :)

 

at April 17, 2006 9:48 AM  Ish said...

No, its even cooler in person. Just to make the temptation greater, the coolest restaurant in town is located in the basement. Rode my bike over for a Guinness and a pizza last Thursday.

 

at April 17, 2006 10:28 AM  Samantha said...

Wow. And you live close enough to ride a bike over? This is definitely where I'd want to live. We could have pizza and talk about merchant marines and literature and what a bitch it is to write sometimes...

 

at April 22, 2006 11:32 PM  Ish said...

Well close is relative I suppose, I try to ride everywhere I can since gas is so expensive, and I definitely burned off one of my Guinnesses on the ride over. But yeah, pretty close.

Yeah, it seems weird we've never actually met but sort of missed each other at the same places. But LA is a pretty big port town so maybe I can make it for pizza sometime I'm ashore.

By the way I have a question for you, email forthcoming.

 

at April 23, 2006 12:34 AM  Ish said...

But then apparently all the email addresses I have for you are non-functional. Mine's the same if you have it, otherwise
NOSPAMktismael @ gmail

 

I've been looking for Arrested Development every Monday since last semester. Arrested Development is easily the funniest show on television--and as a die-hard Seinfeld fan, it isn't easy to admit, but Arrested Development was quite possibly funnier than Seinfeld. Imagine my surprise when I come across this article on MSNBC.com that is talking about the grief the writer feels for the loss of the show.

The loss of the show? So Fox finally let the show go? Is HBO, Showtime or CBS going to pick it up?

I have no frickin' idea. I can't find this information!

The thing that gets me is that the notice of the cancellation came back in November. Uh, back in November I kept finding articles about how other networks were anxiously awaiting the cancellation so they could then scoop up such a fantastic show and add it to their own lineup. The articles were so compelling precisely because no one knew if Fox was going to take the interest in the show as a reason to hang on to it and give it another try.

But apparently in the midst of the final four episodes being aired FOX changed calling the episodes the "season finale" to just "finale." The reason I am angry is because when were these shows airing? I could not find them. And I was actively looking. According to the date stamps on all these articles I've been finding today the show was given the axe in December. I have also been checking the Arrested Development website on Fox and Save Arrested Development on a weekly basis, and there haven't been updates for months. I never checked the episodes section of the Fox website because I was trying to resist reading about possible episodes I may have missed--because they kept shifting the time slot for the show. But apparently the FINAL show aired December 5, 2005--which was the same day that students at USC gathered for a screening of the show and some cast members (George Michael, Maeby, and I forget who else because I wasn't there) showed up when they heard about the event. The cast members said they would love to do the screening again and would be definitely be back. After I heard that, I joined the Arrested Development Makes Me Laugh group on Facebook (they're the ones who made the event happen) and I've been looking for similar events. Obviously there haven't been any.

I think it's extremely sad that the show left without any fanfare. It's kind of like Married... With Children in that regard. In the midst of their so-called final season Fox cancelled that show and the one that aired (where Kelly is supposedly getting married) ended up being a makeshift final episode.

I think it's also really a shame that I can't find any information on whether or not Arrested Development is going to be picked up by another network.

I hope it does.

Labels: television

( 1comments )

at April 13, 2006 6:51 PM  Lorie said...

I actually happened to see the last couple of episodes. They played them all in one night, four episodes in a row like it was a movie, almost (I don't think they even did the intro between episodes, or at least not much of one), and I saw the last two or three. I just happened to come across it at the time. It seems like maybe it was a Friday or some other random time not usually associated with the show. Like they just wanted to get the episodes done with and get the whole thing over with. I'm sure you could find the episodes online somewhere.

 

So I was up late last night doing some freelance work on my laptop in bed while B slept. At 12:56 a.m. I was done for the night, and decided to put my laptop back on my desk in the living room. My desk is relatively close to the door, which obviously then leads into our hallway (our apartment building is set up hotel style, not open air like our apartment in the Valley or in Maryland). When I came into the living room, I was surprised at the loud music being played. It was so loud it sounded like it was in our apartment. Being that it was 1 a.m., I decided to investigate and I opened the door and peeked into the hallway. I didn't have my glasses on, but I was surprised to see two people--one of which was tall and wearing a bright yellow shirt/jacket, the color of the yellow was the kind of bright yellow associated with windbreaker material--actually in the hallway. But they were leaving, which is to say that they were walking towards the direction of the elevator. See, our hallway is really really long. And we live all the way at the end of the left-hand side of it. I closed the door and briefly thought about calling the concierge and reporting the loud music. But I shrugged my shoulders instead and thought, "Well, I can't hear the music in the bedroom, so I'll be able to sleep in peace and quiet. And that's all that really matters." I was in bed at 12:59 a.m.

So B leaves the apartment for work roughly around 5:40 a.m. every day, even Saturday (his weekend is Monday and Tuesday). And I got up at 5:27 a.m. to make him lunch. I didn't wake up when he got up this morning, and so I wasn't quite quick enough to get a breakfast ready for him, so he handled that.

5:36 a.m. and B is ready to go. I kiss him and I say, "Nighty night. Er. Wait. No. I mean, bye-bye. I love you. Have a good day at work. And drive safely." B is in the doorway and I'm holding onto the door.

"Where's our gnome?" B asks.

I look down at the nook we have safely harbored our little gnome with a blue tunic, green pants and soft brick-red hat and his little wooden frog buddy right outside our door since July. I was always paranoid about the little guy being stolen. But seeing as how he wasn't stolen in the Valley, where the apartments are open right to the parking lot, I thought he was safe. I think I also I felt a misconstrued sense of safety on account of the $1325 a month we pay in rent here.

He was there at 12:56 a.m. when I checked the hallway.

So sometime between 1 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. our poor little gnome was stolen.

It's 6:48 a.m. and I went and filed an incident report with the concierge. At 7:00 a.m., his shift is over and the girl who replaces him will access to the dumpster. So I'm going to ask if I can go dumpster diving real quick. I'm hoping that it's simply a matter of someone being vindictive and throwing our gnome down the garbage chute.

I feel like I am being punished for simply opening my door at 1 a.m. I feel like if I hadn't done that, then our little gnome would still be safely nestled in our doorway.

I feel violated.

And not in the fun and spanky way.

I feel violated the way I was constantly feeling violated in Maryland. I've lived in the ghetto. And this is total ghetto behavior.

But now I'm paying $1325 a month for the ghetto.

Labels: los angeles, real life

( 2comments )

at April 8, 2006 10:29 AM  Lhea J. Love said...

I absolutely love your blog.

 

at April 8, 2006 12:05 PM  Samantha said...

Wow. Thanks. That's the nicest comment I've gotten in a real long time.

 

I am taking a songwriting class where we collaborate with composers and create songs out of poetry. I have recordings of my two songs in case you'd like to listen to it.

I decided to include all three poems in this series because Honeycomb is part of a set called Three Ways To Dissect A Woman.

Honeycomb (45 seconds), composed by Jesse Wright-Fitzgerald

Measuring tape lies
Across my breasts yellow and
Black like honeybees.

Milk

Is my waist a waste
If I don't ever expect
To be expecting?

Blood

My hips, fit to be
Carved and devoured, one
Heartbeat, two bodies.

Recently Living Rabbits (3:31), composed by Ben Phelps

My mother slaughters rabbits.
My mother breaks their necks and spines,
Feels life slip between fingertips.
She played piano when she was young.
Such sturdy fingers.

An apron she wears to stave off blood.
Not that rabbits always bleed,
When she cripples them as they still breathe.
"But sometimes," she says, "spine snags skin."
Their mammalian hearts, so used to beating.

I had a fondness for rabbits.
Their soft fur and wet eyes.
The unexpected presence of claws.
"Blood is surprisingly thick in rabbits,"
My mother says.

Labels: writing

( 3comments )

at April 4, 2006 9:58 PM  Alex_Knight said...

I think it's pretty cool to actually hear your poems as songs. Sounds like a neat class. However, the music itself doesn't work for me. Both songs are a bit too dissonant for me. More specifically the melody of the words don't mesh with the music of the piano. It's not that I just don't like the style that the composers are going for, it's that the songs don't sound... right... to me.
Still, it's neat to actually see... errr... hear...

 

at April 4, 2006 10:16 PM  Samantha said...

I actually couldn't be happier with Recently Living Rabbits. I think the creeping feeling in the music blends well with the intention behind the words. The violence of the poem is supposed to be beautiful, but threatening, and the sanity of the speaker is thrown into question. And I like how that comes across.

Honeycomb, too, I think was handled skillfully. We learned about composing music as text painting, and I think the message of lies both about body image and expectation comes through the dance the piano and the voice perform together in that piece.

 

at April 16, 2006 12:44 AM  Princess Blogonoke said...

I tried to compose music to one of your poems as a birthday present for you a couple years ago, but the music started to suck and it didn't do your words justice.

Maybe I oughta try and pick it up again. It's been long enough where it may not be disagreeable to my ears anymore. :p